I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize