My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
