Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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