people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
smell my finger.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
