Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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