Where did you get a picture of my penis
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We were destined to go to rehab together
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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