I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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