I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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