47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
