They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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