Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
