There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
