i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
