She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
