at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm at about main and main street
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
