I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
