If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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