Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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