so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My penis needs a shock collar
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
