Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
