how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
