I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
