At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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