They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
