she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
