I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
