Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
