Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
