considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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