; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
