Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
zippers are such a cool invention
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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