She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
