tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
