I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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