I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
