a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
