i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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