please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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