can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
