I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
