yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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