Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
