the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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