She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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