she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
