we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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