Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
