Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
