I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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