Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
