Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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