I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
