She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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