what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
