After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
