she looked like the before picture.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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