I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize