8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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