grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
